So long Exersaucer....

Today I bit the bullet and finally put away Ham's exersaucer.

The truth is I really only stopped using it two months ago.

It sounds bad, but in case of emergencies, like if I needed a good place to stick Ham where I knew he would stay put for a few minutes, it did the job.

But we really are past all that.

We had been spring cleaning. I've been cleaning out the pantry, the fridge, the bookshelves.

And Ham has been finding new places to put my pots and the remotes to the t.v.

He likes to keep things interesting and I suppose it is his way of saying there are better places to put things.

I am not amused.

I had finally got around to our bedroom and finished putting clothes away and tripped over the exersaucer for the fifteen millionth time.

Most of the time I ignore that, because every time I think about putting it away, I get a lump in my throat.

In my heart, though, I knew it was time.

While Ham was taking his nap, I pushed the buttons on the sides and slowly took it apart.

I thought about the day we bought it.

We were lucky, because we hadn't had to buy anything for Ham. Clothes, shoes, toys, you name it. We were covered.

We were driving home from his four month shots we were a month late on and Mr. Yardbird had just gotten home from India. We wanted to get Ham something special from us and decided to swing past Babies R Us to grab an exersaucer.

Some how or another I ended up putting the exersaucer together by myself. I think because Mr. Yardbird had to go back to work.

I don't have the patience to read directions so naturally I jammed all the wrong pegs in the wrong places. Then I couldn't get them out and I forced to leave one of the toys off the top because it wouldn't fit with my arrangement.

I remember the look on Ham's face when he got into the exersaucer and how he cried inconsolably when he first saw the Penguin toy. And how for the first few weeks I had to face him away from that terrifyingly happy Penguin. But in so doing, Ham learned to love the seesaw panda bears.

And I remember how content and safe Murphy must have felt knowing Henry was confined to the exersaucer and how sad she must have been when he slowly transitioned out of it knowing her safety was compromised.

Poor Murphy.

I really did love that little exersaucer that seemed to bring Ham joy for months and months and me peace of mind to do things like wash the dishes and fold clothes. Now I as I fold cloths I have a little guy a few feet over unfolding them and folding them HIS way and I as I load my dishwasher, I have a little guy unloading it.

Oh, well.