The Day You Born - Part 3 – Save As: Contractions

So filled up on potato soup your dad and I decided it was time for bed. I headed off to the sofa and your dad headed to the nice king size bed we have. Before you get mad that your dad gave you and me the sofa, let me just tell you that we slept better on the sofa those last few months. Remember?

I curled up on the sofa and propped pillows in just about ever place I could. Uncomfortable was an understatement for you and me those days. It didn't take me long to drift off into a real deep sleep.

And then a little bit before midnight....I felt it. 

What, you are wondering? You know. You started it.

The unmistakeable pain with contractions, Ms. Kristie was talking about.

I sat up. Could it be? Is this it?

I laid down. No I don't think so, couldn't be. 

And then there is was again, minutes later. 

I sat up again. 

Yes there is was like a wave coming into shore, intense and then gone just as soon as it started.

I hobbled to the back of the house to get your daddy.

Do you know what he was doing?

Son, your dad was up late watching one of the most boring movies of all time, “Moon”. Let me sum it up for you – There is a man on the moon and he talks to himself a lot because he is all by himself. Then he starts to think he is going crazy because he sees people that look just like him. Then he talks to the people who look just like him, I guess because he is tired of talking to himself. But they look just like him so technically he is still talking to himself. And then you start to feel crazy for watching it. The End.

Your dad loves B movies and your mom could just about do without them.

I saw that movie your dad had on and I gave him a look like “Really?” and your dad just shrugged his shoulders and gave me a sheepish smile. He just can't help himself.

“Mr. Yardbird, I'm having pain with my contractions.” I reported.

Your daddy gave me a real sleeply, “Huh?..... Oh well, we will just call the doctor in the morning to tell her that you are having pain with your contractions.”

This was your daddy's way of saying, “Mrs. Yardbird, I am so tired. Please don't tell me you are in labor now.”   

Bless your dad's heart, he hadn't been sleeping well worrying about you and me and he was in no shape to pull an all nighter. 

I decided I should be a little more straight forward and just come out with it.

“We need to go to hospital.” I said without batting an eye.

When you say things like that, people tend to get a little crazy. I've seen in the movies where men run into walls with their pregnant wife's luggage because they don't know where to go or what to do.

But your dad, sleepy as he was could only muster, “How far apart are your contractions?”

I didn't know. So we sat down on the bed and we decided to find out. I opened my laptop and opened a word document and saved it as “Contractions.” Does this seem weird to you, Hammy? It does to me too. A word document called “contractions” that I was using to type the times in? Whatever happened to a good old pen and paper. 

Your dad started the timer on his phone and off we went.

12:03 I typed.

12:06 I typed.

12:09 I typed.

12:12 I typed.

My eyes got huge. I looked at your dad who was fighting a big yawn.

“They are three minutes apart.”

“Three minutes apart?”

I nodded slowly, swallowing all the fear that I suddenly started feeling.

Ham, they told me in birthing class, get to the hospital when my contractions were five minutes apart. That's the one thing I remember about that class.

And here we were.....three minutes apart.

To Be Continued....

Want to catch up?

Part 1: Click Here
Part 2: Click Here